I'm like your favorite pair of jeans. You wear the hell out of them. But at some point, with all of the fading and holes, you literally can't wear them anymore. They're still your favorite pair of jeans. But you need wearable jeans. You need new jeans. But you can't bear to part with the old pair of jeans. So, although you can no longer wear them- you feel like you want to keep them, you need to keep them. You have so many memories wearing these jeans. So you put them in a box. But I don't want to sit in a box.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Written in 2012
A. and I dated for 11 months before we were married. Less than a month after that we found out I was pregnant. I had no idea what I was in for. What we were in for. I pretty much took the pregnancy test on a whim. I just felt different, but then again, I was just weeks into my marriage with a guy I didn't really know, but was sure I really loved. We were young, naive, and knew we had things to work out but thought it could be done together. Who knew a babe was going to speed up the whole process.
Jackie says to me 'you are the cutest mom ever' and it melts my heart. Just like Cash's baby hands reaching for me melts my heart. And Miss G requesting a 'kiss on the cheek' kiss melts my heart. Who would have thought.
Jackie says to me 'you are the cutest mom ever' and it melts my heart. Just like Cash's baby hands reaching for me melts my heart. And Miss G requesting a 'kiss on the cheek' kiss melts my heart. Who would have thought.
Hurried Life
So it has been about two years since I've written anything on this blog. I want to keep up with it more as a log of daily life. Hmm, maybe blog is a derivative of log.... Anyway, it's weird how the day to day frenzied life can sometimes feel so heavy and hard, but then looking back it all went by so fast. I know it's so cliche, but it's so true.
Jackie is now eight. He is my old soul and my golden child. He's always felt like an equal to me, even as a babe. He loves hockey and football and is actually getting very good at both. The hockey season has just started again and he is sooo much fun to watch. I had no idea how fulfilling it would feel to see him do so well on the ice. Like I have anything to do with his skills. I will get some ice photos on the blog soon.
Miss G is the same sass as always. She has a unique style that is every bit her own. At her last school conferences the teacher told me how everyday they look forward to see what she will be wearing that day. I thought that was so cute. I used to try to regulate what she wore a little bit, but after what her teacher had said I am trying to let her be her own tiny, offbeat, individual self a little more. She is so sweet too. She even hugs the bus driver when she gets on the bus. Who does that?! Little Miss G.
And my Cash baby. He is still that. My baby. He will be four next month but is somehow the boss of us all. He is so smart. He asked me today what 'socialize' means. How does he pick up on a word like that? I am trying to give him full honest answers for every little question to fill his brilliant growing brain. And he is so funny. He can have all five of us rolling with laughter at the dinner table.
And of course, as I sit here typing at work, all I can think of is that I work too much. That I don't get enough of them. That I don't appreciate them enough when I do feel like I get enough of them. I yell too much. I don't listen enough. I love them beyond measure, but do they know this? They will get extra kisses when I get home tonight. Too hurried is this darling life of ours.
Jackie is now eight. He is my old soul and my golden child. He's always felt like an equal to me, even as a babe. He loves hockey and football and is actually getting very good at both. The hockey season has just started again and he is sooo much fun to watch. I had no idea how fulfilling it would feel to see him do so well on the ice. Like I have anything to do with his skills. I will get some ice photos on the blog soon.
Miss G is the same sass as always. She has a unique style that is every bit her own. At her last school conferences the teacher told me how everyday they look forward to see what she will be wearing that day. I thought that was so cute. I used to try to regulate what she wore a little bit, but after what her teacher had said I am trying to let her be her own tiny, offbeat, individual self a little more. She is so sweet too. She even hugs the bus driver when she gets on the bus. Who does that?! Little Miss G.
And my Cash baby. He is still that. My baby. He will be four next month but is somehow the boss of us all. He is so smart. He asked me today what 'socialize' means. How does he pick up on a word like that? I am trying to give him full honest answers for every little question to fill his brilliant growing brain. And he is so funny. He can have all five of us rolling with laughter at the dinner table.
And of course, as I sit here typing at work, all I can think of is that I work too much. That I don't get enough of them. That I don't appreciate them enough when I do feel like I get enough of them. I yell too much. I don't listen enough. I love them beyond measure, but do they know this? They will get extra kisses when I get home tonight. Too hurried is this darling life of ours.
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